By Ana Durrani

Once upon a time, in the digital age of love, a veteran who was longing for connection after years of loss met a charming stranger.

Maybe it started with a simple swipe or a flirtatious comment on your social media profile. The words were attentive, sweet, and comforting. Soon marathon chats turned into early morning professions of love. They called you their soulmate.

If only you two lived closer.

They promised you everything. Two star-crossed lovers defying the odds. Surely, love will find a way.

Next, they asked for help. Maybe it was to help pay for a plane ticket for a visit or a medical misfortune. They just needed a little bit of money so the two of you could finally be together—and live happily ever after.

Only this love story wasn’t written for you alone.

You’re a victim of a romance scam. Fraudsters create fake profiles online and via apps to target multiple individuals, chat often to build a relationship, make up a fake story, and ask for money.

“Romance scams are an epidemic. They prey on people from all walks of life. The scams typically originate via text, social media, dating sites, and any site [where] you can interact with others,” says John M. Griffin, a renowned forensic finance expert and finance professor at McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin.

[RELATED: Scams Cost Veterans, Military Retirees $350 Million in 2023]

There were 64,003 romance scams reported in 2023, according to Federal Trade Commission (FTC) data, with reported losses totaling $1.14 billion. For the first nine months of 2024, the FTC received 42,399 reports of romance scams, accounting for $823 million reported lost, according to an FTC spokesperson.

“The scammers who are often part of large criminal gangs post fake profiles and have a knowledge of psychology Freud would have envied as they slowly build trust with their targeted victim until they start asking for money for a variety of reasons,” says Steve Weisman, a law professor at Bentley University.

Weisman is creator of the blog Scamicide, which details the latest scams and ways people can protect themselves. He says scammers typically “prey on the most vulnerable such as widows, widowers, lonely people, and the elderly.” 

They also target veterans and military personnel and their families. Since 2020, active duty servicemembers have reported 1,751 incidents of romance scams, with losses of $16.1 million, according to an FTC spokesperson.

[SURVIVOR SCAMS: 4 Ways to Keep Your Benefits Safe] 

Impersonating Servicemembers

While military members may be targets of romance scams, they are increasingly unwitting accomplices: Scammers steal their photos and identities to deceive individuals looking for love.

Petty Officer 1st Class Mike Sency, USN, knows this all too well. His photos have been by used by fraudsters to scam countless women.

“The first time it was used for catfishing was 2014 and is still used today. It began by scamming women on dating sites and then made its way to social media, where complete fake profiles would be used for all types of scams,” Sency says.  “At this point I have lost count of the fake profiles across the internet, but Facebook alone is in the thousands over the years.”

[RELATED: Report Shows Spike in Scam Type That Frequently Targets Veterans, Servicemembers]

At its worst, he says he would get four messages a week from people worldwide informing him that his pictures were being used for some type of scam.

“The numbers have dropped dramatically, but maybe once a month now I will still receive a new message asking me if we are dating or have been talking romantically,” Sency says.

Army recruiter Sgt. 1st Class Caesar Camacho has been dealing with romance scammers impersonating him since 2020. There are about 50 fake accounts on Facebook and Instagram with others on TikTok, he says, and he’s received texts and emails from victims … some of whom have contacted his co-workers and his wife.

“One victim FaceTime’d my wife to tell her, ‘Your husband is leaving you, he is on a plane right now coming to see me!’ My wife panned her phone and showed her I was not on a plane,” Camacho says. “The victim claimed I stole her money as I told her she was scammed.”

Efforts to Stop Scammers

Scammers impersonate military servicemembers and veterans because they are “a symbol of strength and protection, and we typically trust people in such positions – the same with doctors, lawyers and police,” says Dr. Martina Dove, fraud prevention expert and author of The Psychology of Fraud, Persuasion and Scam Techniques.

Dove says the techniques used by romance scammers vary.

“Most is just building trust, discussing life together to enhance emotional dependence, giving gifts to get the victim to feel like they have to return the favor, and when that doesn't work, blackmail and threats of ending the relationship,” Dove says.

[RELATED: How to Recognize (and Report) 5 Common Text Scams]

But there are efforts underway to combat scammers. Camacho says a group called Scam Haters United on Facebook, which boasts 78,000 followers, helped him get several fake accounts closed.

“Basically if scammers are there, so are we,” says Ruth Grover, who runs the group on several social media platforms. “We can't manage [to stop them] all, but we do have a way of helping to close as many as we can. We also talk to the women who come to them.”

There’s also Advocating Against Romance Scammers (AARS), a nonprofit co-founded by retired Army Col. Bryan Denny, who since 2016 has dealt with romance scammers impersonating him. Denny says internet crimes take advantage of lonely people, and “it shouldn’t be a crime to be lonely.”

The group uses its platform to educate the public and raise awareness about romance scams. They are also working to drive legislative changes. AARS continues to meet with lawmakers in an effort to amend Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, a law that shields social media platforms from being responsible for any third-party posts.

“I think there are repercussions that ought to happen there,” Denny says.

[PROTECT YOUR PAY: 6 Ways to Stop Scams Targeting Servicemembers, Retirees] 

How to Protect Yourself 

Meanwhile, there are steps individuals can take to protect themselves from romance scams. This starts by being aware of red flags, says Dr. Fangzhou Wang, assistant professor in the department of criminology and criminal justice at the University of Texas at Arlington.

Wang listed several such red flags:

• A too-perfect profile that has professionally taken photos with vague details.
• Rapid declarations of love, but without in-person meetings or video calls.
• Contradictory information.
• A sense of urgency or pressure.
• The promotion of business opportunities or investments in cryptocurrency.

Romance scammers often give their victims crypto to build trust, Griffin says.

“Once you move [money] to a crypto investment, it is gone. We find $75 billion moving into foreign exchanges in these criminal networks,” Griffin says. “The crypto often flows from Western countries to Southeast Asian crypto exchanges.” 

Experts say it’s also important to trust your instincts.

“Be skeptical. If someone online seems too good to be true, they probably are,” Wang says.

She recommends verifying identities by requesting video calls and looking for inconsistencies, and by performing reverse image searches via TinEye or Google Images – right-click on an image to save it to your desktop, then upload it to a Google Image search to see where it appears online.

“If their profile picture appears on multiple websites under different names, it’s likely fake,” Wang says.

Lastly, she suggests reporting scammers by filing complaints with the FTC (ReportFraud.ftc.gov), the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s Internet Crime Complaint Center, or the Better Business Bureau (BBB).

Ana Durrani is a freelance writer based in California.