Thinking of skipping TAPs class? Thinking it is 40 hours of PowerPoint that you can blow off because you are the spouse, not the service member? Think again. Your transitioning service member is about to come down with a bad case of Aerosmith Syndrome.

I did not know that when we drove up to the front gate of Joint Base Anacostia Boling outside Washington D.C. this summer for the start of the DoD’s Transition GPS curriculum.

I knew my husband was dreading it, but, really, what was his problem? He wasn’t even 100% sure he was getting out yet.

Then the opening strains of Aerosmith’s Dream On emerged from the speakers in his black convertible. He leaned over, cranked it up and started singing to me:

Every time I look in the mirror, All these liiiiiines on my face gettin’ clearer The past is gooooooooooone.

I joined right in. I don’t know what the anthem is for your generation, but when we worry about the swiftness of time we want Steve Tyler wailing Dream On, thanks.

The gate guard looked a little surprised to hear us singing it so loud on a Monday morning.

But he could not see what I could see. Suddenly I could see in my husband’s face that mix of sadness and regret and inevitability that comes with military transition. My husband had just come down with Aerosmith Syndrome.

And all of the sudden I was glad I was there.

You would be too if you are long married to a service member. You know that transition isn’t the end of a job for them. The military was never just a job.

The civilian world does not seem to get that part. Maybe the military does. Maybe that is why they sit service members down for a five day, 40 hour training. It isn’t because they are passing out such riveting information at those classes. It is because they want our service members to soak in the real message:

This part of you is ending.

No wonder we walked into that classroom and saw that everybody was experiencing the same thing. Shoot, they all looked like Steve Tyler too—without, of course, all the scarves and the hair product.

Maybe that is why we spouses should go to TAPS. Few of us can arrange our schedules to attend the whole thing, but maybe we go for one day, one afternoon, one hour just to be there for the Aerosmith moments.

We go to remind them that this is not all there is for us. We go as a marker of the hopeful future. We go to crank up the stereo, put the top down, and drive away with them, the wind in our hair, the past falling behind.

Is your servicemember transitioning? Make sure you check out MOAA’s free military transition presentations entitled “Marketing Yourself for a Second Career” on installations across the country or email transition@moaa.org to find out about additional transition services offered through Association membership.

About the Author: Jacey Eckhart is a military sociologist who brings science, experience and humor together to help young families build their best military life. She is an Air Force brat, a Navy wife and an Army mom.