Robin Carpenter's son Kyle is the young medically retired Marine who famously shielded his buddy from a grenade blast.
Martishia Romesha's son Clint was an experienced soldier when his actions at a combat outpost earned him the U.S. military's highest award for valor.
Both sons received the Medal of Honor for their service in Afghanistan, and you might be surprised how their stories began.
Mrs. Carpenter knew nothing about the military when Kyle resolved to sign up mid-war.
Military service pervaded Mrs. Romesha's family history, and she knew she would support her son's decision. But when the first recruiter came around, she asked the man to leave her house.
MOAA interviewed the two moms, who shared some of their memories and talked about how family influenced their sons' service, in time for Mother's Day.
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Martishia Romesha is the mother of Medal of Honor recipient Clinton L. “Clint” Romesha, a former Army staff sergeant cited for many “heroic actions throughout the day-long battle” at Combat Outpost Keating, Afghanistan, Oct. 3, 2009, when 300 enemy fighters attacked the outpost. “With complete disregard for his own safety, Staff Sergeant Romesha continually exposed himself to heavy enemy fire, as he moved confidently about the battlefield engaging and destroying multiple enemy targets, including three Taliban fighters who had breached the combat outpost's perimeter. … His extraordinary efforts gave Bravo Troop the opportunity to regroup, reorganize and prepare for the counterattack that allowed the Troop to account for its personnel and secure Combat Outpost Keating.”https://www.army.mil/medalofhonor/romesha/citation.html
Martishia Romesha lives on the ranch where she grew up, and where her kids grew up, in Nevada close to the California border. Their place is so far “off the grid,” power lines haven't reached out that far. They run on solar power and a generator and have to plan ahead to drive within range of cellphone service. Martishia remarried this past September but keeps her boys' last name - her daughters are married now too.
“I'm very proud that all my children were brought up in a good environment in a small valley,” said the mother of five, including Medal of Honor recipient Clinton L. “Clint” Romesha.
Their family history includes military service on both sides. Clint's father, maternal grandfather, and two brothers all served. Those relationships often were featured in media coverage surrounding Clint's Medal of Honor ceremony. Now, Martishia Romesha also would like to recognize others.
Which of your children served in the military?
My first son, Travis, was born on Mother's Day. He served in the Army and currently serves in the Air Force. Travis was in Afghanistan and Iraq, and, at one time, he and Clint were over there at the same time, which was very hard.
My second son, Preston, went into the Marines. They all went into the military right out of high school basically, so that was kind of hard. Oh my goodness, the letters I'd get - “Thank you, Mom,” and how much they appreciate you.
My oldest daughter, I don't remember her exactly talking about joining the military. She went more toward law enforcement. In 2007, my youngest daughter moved up to Oregon, had a recruiter, and was basically ready to go in, and [then] my dad passed away. She ended up not going.
Did your family's military background play a role in the boys joining?
Oh, of course. My father was a World War II veteran. He shared a lot of stories with us. My children were very close with my parents. Also, the children's father, Gary, served in Vietnam. We thought it was a very big possibility that they would go into the service. My kids were brought up that way - to the country and the flag.
Who were some of Clint's early influences?
As a mother, I was lucky that we had his great-grandmother near and also my mother. My children were very close to her. My very best friend - her children and my children basically grew up together - Clint considers her his second mother. When Clint had leave and came home, he made sure he'd come around to each of the families every time.
What happened when he wanted to join the Army?
I always said when they turned 18, if they wanted to go in, that was their decision. Clint was so determined that he wanted to go in when he was 17. I had all these part-time jobs, and I came home one night and he had the recruiter in the living room. I made the recruiter understand that I would never sign prior to Clint turning 18. My son was to make the decision. So I kind of asked [the recruiter] to leave. I told Clint, “You know, I never let the other boys, either.”
How did you feel during your sons' deployments?
I never regretted that they went into the service, but that doesn't take away the fear. It's something that's always in the back of your mind. You just pray every day that the Lord is watching over them. When Clint was able to call, it would be two or three o'clock in the morning. The times I remember, he called me after members of his unit were killed in combat saying, “Why wasn't it me?” They have this survivor's guilt. I'd always tell him, “Clint, it's your time on Earth. There's a reason it's not you. God has some reason.” … You just try to make them understand that no one has the answer.
Were you able to stay connected?
I have letters. Clint was able to call about once a month. I had email. I was set me up on Skype. It was kind of sparse, to be honest. He had his own family. I remember putting together care packages and trying to figure out what he liked.
They protected me as a mother. Until we heard at the Medal of Honor ceremony, I really didn't know what Clint went through to receive the award. They didn't let us know.
I wish I had done more as far as the care packages. … I'm almost ashamed to say this, there are times when you have to pretend they're not in that situation. There were times I had to leave it in the Lord's hands.
Talk about your experience at the medal ceremony.
I was treated so well as his mother. I felt respected. I had a short time there, three days, and everything was so good. I hadn't been with a lot of my children in such a long time, so we all got together and worked it out, so it was really a family thing. It was an experience of a lifetime.
[The ceremony was] just very heart-wrenching. I'm very tenderhearted. I know how dedicated Clint is to the loss of those soldiers and to their mothers and families. That was probably the hardest thing for me was meeting the families, because I didn't know what to say. There are no words.
The other thing that impressed me so much was his fellow soldiers telling me, “I would go to hell and back for your son.” There's a very strong bond like brothers and sisters that I think will last a lifetime.
What do you tell parents who ask you if their child should join the military?
I had two brothers. I remember when the Vietnam war came, [my father] was so distraught. He didn't want his sons to go through what he went through. … I've always felt that if the child wants to go into the military - if that's the road they choose - you have to deal with that as a mother.
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Robin Carpenteris the mother of Medal of Honor recipient Marine Corps Cpl. Kyle Carpenter, medically retired, cited for having “positioned himself … without hesitation and with complete disregard for his own safety” between a grenade and a fellow Marine while manning a rooftop security position on the perimeter of Patrol Base Dakota in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, Nov. 21, 2010. “When the grenade detonated, his body absorbed the brunt of the blast, severely wounding him, but saving the life of his fellow Marine.”http://www.marines.mil/moh/Citation.aspx
Robin Carpenter didn't have family around to help out when her three boys were growing up - her son, Medal of Honor recipient Kyle Carpenter, and younger twins - so she took a long break from her career as an X-ray tech to be at home with them. The family moved around the Southeast, where her husband worked in poultry sales. Now that the younger boys are in college, she's back working as an X-ray tech part time.
She knew nothing about the military when Kyle decided to join.
“We were just your everyday, normal family that had a child who came home from college and decided to join the Marine Corps,” she said.
Even now, she wouldn't feel right saying she was from a military family.
“I just know what we've been exposed to,” she said.
Yet her message to military families this Mother's Day reveals deeper insight.
When Kyle was growing up, did you think he would join the military?
I can't think of anything in his childhood that would have swayed him in that direction. I probably said, "Yeah, if Kyle joined the military, that would be right up Kyle's alley." As far as the Marine Corps, no. … I knew he was destined for something great. The types of things he did as a child … He was very competitive. He was not afraid of anything. Some of the things he did were more indicative of what he did to receive the medal. I could see him doing what he did to receive the medal.
How did you feel when Kyle joined the Marine Corps?
He told me right out of high school that he might want to join the Marine Corps. I just told him, "You go on to college, get your degree." He went to college in the fall, and he came home at Christmas. He called my husband, Jim, out on the screened-in porch. Kyle, he had a lot of respect for us - he wanted our blessing. His mind was made up, but he did want our blessing.
In the middle of a war, he wanted to serve his country. How admirable is that? He knew this was his window of opportunity. He said, "I do not want to live with regret." Here he is in the middle of a war and wanting to go infantry. Jim and I offered up everything we could think of [to dissuade him]. "Go find yourself in Key West. Go to Colorado and join the ski patrol." All we could think about was his safety.
A lot of how I felt about it was just my background, probably like a lot of the civilian population. I think a lot of parents, if you're not from a military family, you're thinking, "Why?" … It took me a while to accept that this was the path that Kyle chose.
Once we accepted it, and he had our blessing, and then he went ahead and signed all the paperwork, there was no way we were not going to support him.
Were you able to stay connected?
We communicated a lot through letters when he was at boot camp - and care packages. I have every letter, and Kyle saved every letter - and every letter that everyone else sent him as well. We totally supported him by mail the whole time he was at boot camp. I do have letters that he sent me from Afghanistan as well.
What did you expect going into Kyle's Afghanistan deployment?
Kyle had a couple of predeployment meetings at Camp Lejeune, N.C. They kind of tell you what's going to happen if they die. We thought he would either come back fine or he wouldn't come back alive. I never knew about all the amputees who were coming back. I had no idea what was going on up in Bethesda [at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center]. Nobody prepared us for what would happen if our child was injured.
How did you feel when he was receiving the citation?
Just to be honest, still to this day, it's still pretty surreal, I think because of what we've been through - because we were so focused on his injury. It was just so emotional. For us, because we have lived this injury and recovery, we're so proud of how he's handled his injury and recovery.
Did you realize what an honor it would be?
I had no idea. I see how big it is when I see other people's reactions when I'm with Kyle. It brings people to tears - I mean grown men.
What do you tell parents who ask you if their child should join the military?
I think, for any parent, if your child has already made that decision … all you can do is support them. I can't fathom sending my child to boot camp, sending my child to another country - I can't imagine not giving your child that support. He could do what he needed to do in boot camp because he knew that we supported him back home.
What's your message to military families on Mother's Day?
Now that I've been around so many military families, I have so much for respect for military families and their sacrifice.
I just have to think what the children have gained from having a parent who has served. I can't think of a greater gift that a military member can give their child than getting to see that life of service.